Friday, March 15, 2013

Redemption








Trifextra: Week Fifty-Nine




A chill mist coils amid the heated crowd 
Cooling and containing.

In small pockets of relief and reflection,
Tension flushed faces slacken into peaceful tone as
Angry sweat gives way to goose flesh.





Photo credit: Bérenger ZYLA / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
This weekend we're asking for exactly 33 words inspired by this photo.  

19 comments:

  1. I love the sense of calm that washes over this piece as it progresses-until "angry sweat gives way to goose flesh."

    Amazingly written!!

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    1. Thank you, Valerie! I can't leave well enough alone. Gotta go weirdo.

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  2. The chill cooling and containing heat. A good line.

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  3. pockets of relief and reflection - that is a beautiful turn of phrase.

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    1. Thanks, Barbara! Sometimes the Muse just has her way with me. ;-)

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  4. Renee, I love how you blended mood, movement, and temperature together. The picture is evocative, and you did the prompt associated with it proud!

    Thanks also for stopping by my blog and commenting. Good work, hon. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/03/15/mama-needs-a-brand-new-bag-a-barlette/

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    1. Thank you, Amy! I appreciate your comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

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  5. Ooo I felt the gooseflesh rising on my arms!

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    1. Thanks, Draug, so did I as I was writing.

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  6. Oooh, I felt that drop in temperature. Well done.

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    1. Thank you, Sarah! I was hoping that would come across.

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  7. So lovely! Makes me long for those warm summer days under the sprinkler... Well done!

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  8. Nice interplay of hot and cold.

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  9. The gooseflesh made me think that they were maybe being lulled into peace against their will. But that's clearly just me! I too loved the hot/cold contrast and the moistness.

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  10. that was a very soothing piece. the sense of calm from hot to cold, very well done.

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