Monday, March 25, 2013

A Scene from Renewal

Trifecta: Week Seventy

Congratulations to the Weekend Winners, good work!
I found a bit of one of my  Works Chaos in Progress that had the word of the week in it.  I cleaned it up a bit, cut a lot of excess.  So, here we go...

On to the weekly prompt. Pay attention to the third definition, as always. Good lucky!

LUCKY (adjective)

1: having good luck
2: happening by chance : fortuitous
3: producing or resulting in good by chance : favorable

Please remember:
Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
The word itself needs to be included in your response.
You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
Only one entry per writer.
If your post doesn't meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us. 

Sheriff Denny Clark pulled into the farm yard.  Nate Foley was waiting for him, angry and impatient.

“Mornin', Nate.  What’s the problem?”  he asked.

“The problem, Sheriff, is somethin' killed more than half my best layin' hens.”  The old farmer led Denny to the chicken coop.  Feathers, blood and torn birds littered the yard.  “Whatever kilt 'em didn't do it for eatin'.  These animals was killed for the fun of it.”

Denny squatted to inspect the remains more closely.  Nate was right.  The birds had been torn apart, one after another.  Whatever?  He was inclined to lay bets on whoever.  The local wild life may take a chicken once in a while, and that's exactly what they did, take.  One may find a few feathers or bones, but those remains showed obvious signs of feeding.  These didn't.

“You didn’t hear anything, Nate?”

“Nope.  Take my hearin' aids out at night.”

“Dog didn’t raise hell?”

“Ain't got no dog.  Last one I had thought the chickens was his.  It were his lucky day, the grandchild was here, took 'im home." 

“Got a count on how many you lost here, Nate?”

The old man figured a minute.  “ I’d say 'bout three dozen.”

Denny nodded, “I'll grab some bags, take a few to Doc Kelsey.  See if he can come up with anything evidential.”  Denny popped the trunk of the squad, he returned with several plastic bags and latex gloves.  He brought a camera to document the scene.  He took a dozen pictures, then bagged eight birds for the Kelsey, the local veterinarian. 

“Make sure you show all that to my insurance agent.  Only about twenty left.  That won’t pay bills for long.  Kin I get rid of the mess now, Sheriff?”

“You gonna burn ‘em, Nate?”

Nate Foley nodded.  “Yep, gotta burn ‘em.  For sure.”


  1. This is kind of a cliffhanger. How long must I wait to find out what killed the chickens? Nice dialect... I liked the use of 'evidential'.

  2. That doesn't look good. Why do they have to be burned? I'm scared.

    I like your use of lucky. That dog sure was.

  3. Zombie CHICKENS?!? I thought your use to dialect was great and lended a really nice tone to the story which was a great combination of peaceful and creepy!

  4. Great tension and great dialogue..

  5. You *are* going to continue this, right? I am dying to know more!

  6. I agree with all above: This needs more writing... love to see a sequel to it. Also, it could turn into a grudge, a mystery, a creepy sci-fi thing. Or perhaps someone hates the sound of the rooster in the morning?

    Your dialect is spot-on. "...what kilt 'em" vs. "was killed for the fun of it," perfect use of colloquail language. Kilt/killed depends on the word following.

    You have a great ear and a knack for the cliffhanger. Glad I posted on Trifecta so I could find you here! Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore

  7. Anything you've "gotta burn" smacks of trouble. Either that, or I've been reading too much Game of Thrones. Either one.

  8. I love the dialect here - You've got it down pat. I also love the chickens and the farmer. I need to read more of this.

  9. Intriguing. I think I'd probably burn them too. Nice work.

  10. Great dialect - that's hard to do. I'd also like to know what/who killed the chickens. The burning sounds like a gruesome task, but I don't know what else you'd do with all that carnage.

  11. Burning implies infection.
    Pretty sure 'twas a weasel got my chickens once. Tossed 'em in the compost heap.
    Nice dialog Renee!

  12. Intriguing, and as others have said - fantastic dialect. Lots of unanswered questions here. I'd like to find out what's going on. Nice work

  13. everyone's a teaser this week!

  14. Interesting! I want to know what did the killing. Very well written story.

  15. How scary!But wonder if he did them in himself-for the insurance money?Nah!He said it was too little-now am going to die of curiosity!

  16. Great dialogue and dialect. And yeah, I want to read more about the chicken killer! Great entry.