"Why do you keep coming around? You know you annoy me."
"I'm here to keep ye company, sweetling, ye spend too much time alone."
"I like being alone. I particularly prefer being alone to being followed about by a fool who chose become a monster, so afraid of death he'd risk his soul."
"T'wasn't a fear of death, girl. And which path to immortality would ye have rather I'd chosen? This seemed the least malicious, and was convenient at the time."
"None. Immortality is an unnatural condition, I had it thrust upon me. You could have died. It would have saved me the trouble of killing you eventually."
"Aye, true that. But ye've not killed me in the last four hundred years, no matter how often ye threaten."
"It's only a matter of time."
"Well, darlin', until that time I'll be droppin' in on ye. Because ye oughtn't be alone all the time. Because sometimes ye need one that has known ye longer than anyone else. One that can tell when the years have weighed too heavy for too long."
"You give yourself a lot of credit in the subject of my feelings. What makes you believe you're an expert?"
"My continued existence. And this continuing conversation. I only wish ye'd look upon me as ye began to long ago."
"Long ago you were a man. A man I had begun to trust, and yes, to have feelings for. Your choice destroyed that man."
"I am still that man! Look at me, girl! I cheated death to stay for ye, I paid an ugly price, to stay with ye. For the love of ye. I chose."
"You chose. You chose to become something I cannot abide. When I thought I might care about someone again, you stole him from me. Had you died, I could have mourned you. I could have had a funeral, an ending. Every time you come around, you reopen that wound, it can never heal! I wish you had died."
"Then, kill me. Kill me and free yourself, lass."
"I wish I could. But then I'd be alone. All the time."
The Prompts: the song below and the word: Wish
What a tenuous thread that binds them! His desire to be with her and her desire to be with anyone - or thing - rather that face eternity alone. Great job using just dialogue. It was clear and easy to follow.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Angela! Tenuous, yes. And I'm hoping there was an underlying tension, with the feeling that eventually, something must snap.
DeleteApplause for the dialogue only! Wow! That's hard to do. And the Scottish dialect, too--well done.
ReplyDeleteSo he was her love, and he made some grisly choice that made him immortal, yet unlovable to her? I'm imagining some ghastly process that made him into the Dorian Gray portrait in the attic. And she's immortal too...but in a different way. I'm guessing vampire?
This was fun to read and to puzzle out. The dialogue only (while incredibly impressive) did make it hard to figure out the backstory.
Angie, thanks for reading!
DeleteI purposely left the backstory vague. Partly because I haven't hammered out all the details, partly in hopes this piece could stand alone.
For him, it was a ghastly process, with a terrible price.
For her, not a vampire, in fact not a "creature".
Still working on the timeline and logistics. ;-)
The fear of being alone. That can be more powerful than even love.
ReplyDeleteAmy, thanks for stopping by.
DeleteFor some, yes it can. And the longer the life, the more time alone, I imagine.
Ha! Love him. His idea of sacrifice for the sake of what he thinks is love and then to have that brilliantly cocky attitude...This is the crux of the conflict, but when you hammer out the details, make the plot something bigger than this, like the death of the world or heaven or something, and leave the ending "happy for now" instead of all loose ends being tied up. Otherwise, any "back and forth" will be too repetitive.
ReplyDeleteUhm, I think I'm excited for you about this. Great take on the prompt!
Shelton, thanks so much for reading and your input.
DeleteThe story in my head is much larger than this. As I reread my own post, I realize it's more a reference story for me. To better understand the relationship between the two.
I have only snippets of this work posted, and more in bits and pieces trapped in Scrivener. The full thing has about a 1500 year time span. I am no doubt overestimating my abilities. But the trip is great fun!
I love the tension in this -- very cool push and pull. I'm excited to read more, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! It is a complicated relationship they have. I'm hoping to get more of this and another related story pulled together this year.
DeleteThis is your immortal woman character and the "man" who keeps finder her, no? I'm glad you're still working at them. I've enjoyed what you've shared so far.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cam! I'm secretly pleased that you recognized them. There is more. Lounging in Scrivener, awaiting polish.
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