Tuesday, August 23, 2011
This week we asked you to explore your worst memory.
He'd been through so much. Arthritis in his rear legs and hips. His front legs were beginning to show signs also. A neurological problem in his hips made his front legs have to do most of the support.
He had an ongoing antibiotic resistant ear infection. The odor was awful, sickly sweet and rotten all at once. Ear washes and cocktails of meds. The infection would finally go away, only to return in another month. Along with the ear infection were fleshy growths that bled if he scratched too hard.
He was fourteen, not young for a dog. Most of his teeth were gone. The problems in his hips meant his tail couldn't speak for him anymore. . The arthritis meds were supplemented with pain pills. He slept more and more.
One day he refused to take the pills. No matter how we tried to give them. He wasn't tricked by food around them. We couldn't force his jaws open to push them down. As pained and frail as he'd become, his stubborn streak was still strong.
For two night we were awakened by his barking. I'd go into the other room to see what was bothering him. He'd be gazing past me at something I couldn't see.
The second night I sat up with him until morning. At 7:30am I made the call. Choking through tears I explained that it was time. The receptionist at the vet's office was sympathetic, asked if I was sure. I was. The appointment was made.
It was fast and painless. For him. I knew it was the right thing to do. Selfishness had kept him in pain too long.
I am a cat person. But cats have their own agenda. They come and go as they please.
Ari, my Shih Tzu was often underfoot. Following me from room to room. There is still, two years later an empty spot in my heart. And an empty spot at my feet.
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It's been two years and i still miss him. We did adopt a troubled dog last year. I try not to compare. It's hard still.