Your assignment this week was to write about a time when you knew something in your life had to change drastically. We asked you to describe the moment you realized you had to make the decision and to use this as an opportunity to work on “show not tell.”
I wasn't me anymore. I had shed my likes, my humor, my friends. I wriggled out of the skin I'd worn all my life to please someone else. I adjusted my personality to fit what I thought was required. I lost the most important pieces of myself. The things that made me me.
When all of that wasn't enough, when the verbal and emotional attacks finally became physical, I knew things needed to change. The necessary steps were taken, the counseling, the learning on both parts to understand the power and control monster. Change began to happen.
It has been an excruciatingly slow process. Finding the bits and pieces of me that were cast aside, or shelved. Trying to put them back together the way they came out. The new me, isn't the same as the original. There are hairline cracks in the surface where some parts were glued in hastily. A few chips here and there where all the shards weren't found. Some pieces still linger on shelves, waiting for another step, a better time to be added.
Things have changed, but the scars are still visible. The trust was broken, I think it will take a bit longer to finish the reassembly.
The cracks, the chips? The mended seams?
ReplyDeleteThey are strength and resolve and experience and understanding. I didn't know this other you before, or the one you weer between, but the one you are now is beautiful.
And I am glad for you that you put yourself back together.
Those mended seams and scars may have come at a price and you may not be who you were before, but they do show your strength and I'm glad you were able to move forward before there was nothing left to sew up and back together again. Thank you for sharing this piece of you.
ReplyDeleteThe mended parts? The ones that seem weak and uncertain now? Those will be the parts, in time, that surprise you with their strength. I read one time that a bone is strongest in a place it's been broken, because of the "scar" around it. I am so very sorry you were in a situation that you had to rebuild yourself, but what you've put together? It's lovely.
ReplyDeleteA strong personal piece. Nice image, wiggling out of the skin you'd worn for others. Great metaphor - reminds me of a snake. While they're shedding they're lethargic, cranky, and vulnerable. But once they emerge, they're gleaming, lithe, full of energy and hungry for life. (And I mean that nicely! I know some people hate or are afraid of snakes, but I think they can be beautiful.)
ReplyDelete