Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Your assignment this week was to write about a time when you knew something in your life had to change drastically. We asked you to describe the moment you realized you had to make the decision and to use this as an opportunity to work on “show not tell.”
I wasn't me anymore. I had shed my likes, my humor, my friends. I wriggled out of the skin I'd worn all my life to please someone else. I adjusted my personality to fit what I thought was required. I lost the most important pieces of myself. The things that made me me.
When all of that wasn't enough, when the verbal and emotional attacks finally became physical, I knew things needed to change. The necessary steps were taken, the counseling, the learning on both parts to understand the power and control monster. Change began to happen.
It has been an excruciatingly slow process. Finding the bits and pieces of me that were cast aside, or shelved. Trying to put them back together the way they came out. The new me, isn't the same as the original. There are hairline cracks in the surface where some parts were glued in hastily. A few chips here and there where all the shards weren't found. Some pieces still linger on shelves, waiting for another step, a better time to be added.
Things have changed, but the scars are still visible. The trust was broken, I think it will take a bit longer to finish the reassembly.