Monday, March 21, 2011

Forgiveless

This week's prompt is about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving yourself. Write about a time of forgiveness.
(Thank you all for your comments. I have edited a bit based on your input. Renee)



All bright and shiny. She sparkled with goodness. She cared about what I said. She comforted me when life was being difficult. 

She was a precious treasure, a golden hearted friend. 

But, then?

She stole from me. She stole from my business. My livelihood. My life. 

She stole my faith in people. And she did it with smiles and sweet talk. 
She manipulated my feelings by confessing to minor mistakes. 

I had trusted her. She became my liaison with the other employees.  They loved her, too. They told her their secrets. 

She took advantage of their trust. She knew things they didn't want told. They closed their eyes to her "indiscretions".

When she was caught?  She was angry. Not apologetic, not ashamed. Just angry, at the person who caught her.  Angry at me, because she couldn't make me believe her lies anymore.   

Now, I am angry at myself.   That I didn't see that the bright and sparkly treasure was base metal underneath. Angry at myself that I cannot forgive her. 

19 comments:

  1. It's so hard when something like this happens. We feel so betrayed. Forgiveness is harder than we think sometimes...

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  2. Boy, can I relate to that whole inability to forgive myself for not being psychic bit. People who manipulate us in that way shake our whole sense of safety, don't they?

    I can almost hear you clench your teeth as I read this. Well done. The "ands" starting your last three paragraphs feel a bit repetitive. You'd flow just as well without them, imho.

    Great job!

    Bobbi

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  3. Ah yes, I know this feeling well.

    Not the theft, but the inability to forgive. I struggle with that, too.

    I love how you opened this post: "All bright and shiny. She sparkled with goodness." It drew me in instantly.

    I'm so sorry that this happened to you!

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  4. Well, that sucks! What is WITH people??

    I don't know if I could forgive that. It was total betrayal on so many levels, and involved other people, too.

    My only concrit is I don't think you had to say "Not my husband. Not my car." It works without it and keeps the flow going.

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  5. Wow. That's horrible. So sorry this happened to you - I'm not sure I could find forgiveness here either.

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  6. I thought this line, 'She took advantage of their trust. She knew things they didn't want told. They closed their eyes to her "indiscretions' so well showed us that nasty manipulation that unfortunately can be quite common place in the workplace.

    My two little concrits would be that the last 3 beats/paragraphs all start with 'And' which I think that you can drop in at least the first two.

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  7. "That I didn't see that the bright and sparkly treasure was base metal underneath."
    Such a great line.

    There are many things that I struggle to forgive. I hope someday, I can, but then I often wonder:
    Does everything have to be forgiven?

    I would imagine you do as well.
    Found you via TRDC

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  8. "I didn't see that the bright and sparkly treasure was base metal underneath."

    This line brought to mind chipped, ugly, cheap jewelry. In other words, it said so much about this person.

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  9. @Elaine A. Thanks for stopping by. I usually don't hold grudges. But this, really messed with me.

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  10. @isaywhatimean Thanks for the suggestion, I went ahead and made changes.

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  11. @Galit Breen Thank you, I was trying to convey how she seemed to be in contrast to how I saw her later.

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  12. @Cheryl Thanks you! I reread and agree, so I made the change.

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  13. @d, the undomestic housewife Thanks for reading, and I'm trying to find a better place with this.

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  14. @Jennifer Thank you, and yes the other employees were used.

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  15. @Jayne Thank you for reading. That was a picture that came to me during my anger.

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  16. @Mandyland Yes! That is exactly the feeling I had about her after finding out about not just one incident but several.

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  17. You can feel the power by the end of this post. It says a lot about the power an emotion can hold over you if you cannot find the way to forgiveness.

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  18. thank you for pouring your heart out. betrayal is one of the hardest things to forgive, for sure.

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  19. Like the others have said, I absolutely love that second-to-last line about "base metal" - such a striking image.

    I'm so sorry that this happened to you. And I understand you being unable to forgive. I hope it comes to you in time, though.

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