Thursday, March 31, 2011

It's A Dog's Life

The prompt:
Is there someone who drives you crazy?
Someone who really gets under your skin.
Now, write a first-person piece - as if YOU are this individual. Write from his or her perspective and include the things that really bother you. 

There's that damn noise again.  I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it and just lie here. 
Maybe she'll hit it again and go back to sleep.

Or maybe she'll get up at this silly hour. 

Alright, I know the drill.  Wait til she puts those wrappers on and head for the bath.

I just had a bath, and by that I mean soaking, last night.  I still feel damp, urff.

I wish she'd talk to me in the morning.  I'd like to let her know I want to go out. 

And I need a drink of water.

But she's busy.  In the bath.  I'll guard the door. 

Here we go!  Food and water!

Damn, I always have to wait til last.  "They" always get served first.
At least my food belongs to me here.  I don't have to share it.  At the other place I had to share.
I didn't get much, the others were bigger than me.

Yay food!  Yay water!

I am not eating too fast.  Yes, I am chewing.

Yes I am! 


Now she goes into the soft chair room.

Alright already, you sit there. 


She's leaving again.  She goes away everyday.  Then she's gone forever.

Tick.  Tock.  Tick.  Tock.

He's finally awake.  We go outside together. 

I don't know why.  It's cold and wet. 

We have all those strange little tree trunks inside.  I don't have to go out.

It's too late anyway.

Tick.  Tock.  Tick.  Tock.

I hear the beastly growl!  Yay!  She came back.


I wish she'd talk to me.

Or not.

I don't have any idea why the chair is rocking.

It wasn't rocking when I got up.

I need a drink of water.

Can we go out now?

Can WE go out now?

OK, I want in.

Where's the treat?

I did too do something!  It's by the bath place.

My ball is under that thing.  I can't get it.  I can't get it.  I CAN'T GEEETTTT ITTT!

I need a drink of water.

I'm hungry.  Damn, I'm always last.   

She lets me sit beside her!  On the soft chair. 

For a minute. 

"They" get to sit on her.  "They" don't even give her kisses.



She's going to the bath.  Wait.  No, the food room!  Yay!

She needs me to go with her.  Just in case.  There might be intruders.  I hear a noise.

OK, so it's just "them".

I'll lie here in the middle of the room.  That way I can see everywhere.


Back to the soft chairs?

Nope, the tops of the funny looking tree trunks.

What is that wonderful smell?

I'm hungry.  He gives me bites.  She might.  She might.  She might.

She might not.

Back in the center of the food room.  She needs to stand still.  If she stands still, she might not step on me.
 Well, at least she doesn't kick me.  The other place that happened a lot.

I need a drink of water.  WE need to go out.  We, get it?


Yay!  A treat! 
Yes, I'm a good boy.


Now, she's going to the bath place.
I will guard the bath.  She closed the door, but I can keep the intruders away better.

Yay! The door opens!
She has a different wrapper now. 

She goes to the soft chair room.
She's sitting in her soft chair.
It's dark.
It's time to go to sleep.  On the bed.  The floor is cold and hard.
I've been lying on it all day.


It's dark.
It's time to go to sleep.

It's dark.  Sleep.

Finally.  She gets on the bed. 

And throws my ball on the floor.  I wonder how it got under the blankets.

Yawn!  It's been a long day.

Good night my people.

I am off of you! 
I can't help it, I itch!
Stay on your own side, then....


  1. Ahh the life of a pet. Since the kids, sadly our cat is no longer at the top of our list.

  2. This was so clever to write from your pet's perspective!

    I loved this line: "Damn, I always have to wait til last. "They" always get served first. At least my food belongs to me here." because it was so endearingly true!

    I also loved how committed the dog is to the mom of the house. I had no idea how true this is to form until we got our, I mean *my* dog last summer!

  3. Which one is more annoying? The woman or the dog?

    So this is what dogs think all day? I wonder what the cat would think?

  4. This one had me laughing all through the story. I assumed "they" were cats? If so, it made it funnier as I have both a dog and a cat. I'm sure my dog feels exactly like this.

    Great dialogue. You've got "dog" down very well. I often have conversations for my dog and cat. The dog is usually not that happy because the cat gets her way more often. See, this is what happens when you work at home:~)

    The only constructive comment I could make is that it seemed a bit long. I know that's strange for a 600 word story. It was so good, however, that you didn't need to keep going...well, except you'd have to keep the bed scene:~)

  5. Love that you did this from your pets perspective. Our cat has hit the bottom of out list as well since Belle was born. I wonder what our cat thinks all day.

  6. I never thought to write from a pets perspective, but this has given me some ideas...hmmm.

    I'm exhausetd after reading this. That poor dog is on overload!

  7. I loved this line, "She's leaving again. She goes away everyday. Then she's gone forever.' Because my pets are so excited every single time they see me, that I figure it must feel exactly like that to them when I leave.

    And this one was great, and where the dime dropped for the cat v dog, ""They" get to sit on her. "They" don't even give her kisses." I loved it because the dog is both resigned and annoyed at the cats.

  8. This was so adorable. Poor puppy. I wasn't sure if "they" were cats or kids at first. ;) I actually only JUST caught the title (DUH!) when I went to see where you are from. I ask because it may have just been me, but what are "wrappers" supposed to mean?

    I agree that it was a bit lengthy, I think you could have cut out the scene with "him" and it would have still been solid.

    I love my pets, and love how you love yours enough to write from their perspective. Assuming you have a dog, that is. ;) If not, even better job!!!

  9. Hahaha! Yes, Tanya, I am exhausted too... the whole time I kept thinking, "what kind of freaking dog is this?? Just sit down and chill!"

    My favorite line was "Damn, I always have to wait till last" too.

    I just assumed "they" were the other family members or even small children {which is the case in my household}, but the idea of "them" being cats made me dash up and read it again!

    Very fun read!

  10. What a fun approach to the prompt, Renee!
    I love the way you used shorter sentences and kept them simple.
    I love this bit: "HelloHelloHelloHelloHello"...I could see him wagging his tail like crazy. :)

  11. your personification of the dog was fantastic. I agree with Nichole on the way the HelloHelloHello type lines were written.. they convey the hyperactivity factor. And I think you are mostly right on about what the dog things!

  12. Ha! I didn't read the title and I thought it was your kid halfway through. I was like— damn, that kid is getting neglected! But a pet puts a totally different perspective on it. You got loyal, needy and excitable down really well.

  13. I was laughing as I read this, I can totally see my dogs thinking these things!

  14. Ha, adore where you went with this. My cats know to trip me in the mornings til I feed them, it ensures that they get fed first. This read very true.

  15. Loved it! It's hard to be the dog in a house full of cats. Good job--you captured the doggy pov perfectly!

  16. I really liked this. Maybe because my dog guards the door to the "bath place", too. LOL Really a fun use of the prompt.

  17. Hee hee!

    I know this dog! Love that you tackled this prompt from the point of view of your dog! That's awesome.

    So funny.

    "Stay on you own side, then."


  18. @Kim
    I don't have kids at home, just the weekly grandkid visit. So the pets are the "kids", the dog just happens to be the latest addition. I work by seniority ;)

  19. @Galit Breen
    "My" dog won't let me out of his sight. I can't let out a deep breath without him in my face.

  20. @June Freaking Cleaver
    I'm sure the dog finds me very annoying. But really, when I come home from work I just want a minute. I don't even talk to the husband right away.

  21. @Sara
    They are cats. Three of them. And I am actually a cat person, so the dog makes me crazier than most would be, I think.

  22. @Belle's Butterfly
    I'm pretty sure my cats think that they pay me too much ;)

  23. @Tanya Tringali
    We acquired this dog by accident, he is sooo needy. He's actually calmed down a bit. We keep working with him.

  24. @Jennifer
    Everyday, you'd think I been gone for a year. The cat's are more,"oh, it's you, I need food"

  25. @Andrea (ace1028)
    I used the word wrappers for clothes as I didn't imagine the dog grasping "clothing". Mostly just seeing if it worked.
    And yes, the dog is real. In all his insanity.

  26. @De Su Mama
    I wish the dog would just sit down and chill. And he's a Cocker Spaniel. He'd been abused we think, and then ended up in a multiple Rottweiler house. Here, it's just the cat to contend with. He's calmer than he was, but still a long way to go.

  27. @Nichole
    Thanks Nichole! As I was typing the hellos, I was seeing that tail wag. It never stops wagging.

  28. @Jenna
    Once I get settled in, he relaxes. A little. But everytime I get up, I'm tripping over dog. But hyperactive is mostly the norm.

  29. @Ilana
    Thanks! He is loyal. It's the needy that makes me crazy. I'm a cat person, and needy is not them. Unless dinner is late.

  30. @Rebel Chick
    I spend way to much time having "conversations" with all my animals. It made it easy to come up with this.

  31. @Lydia
    My cats don't wait. They come in and start patting me in the face if they don't think I'm up early enough. The first pats are gentle. The more pats, the more claws.

  32. @Not Just Another Mother Blogger!
    Thank you! Dogs are actually way more open than cats. Cats are too busy plotting.

  33. @Two Normal Moms
    I really thought after my daughter grew up I'd be able to go to the bathroom by myself.

    So much for that. Sigh.

  34. @Kris
    Thanks you!
    Yes the dog is a total bed hog. Between the dog and two of the cats, the king sized bed is really kind of smallish.

  35. I liked this one a lot. Very cute. I have two dogs, and I suspect they think like this a lot.

    I love how you captured the follow habit. It's so sweet, but definitely can be annoying.

  36. Yes, you captured "dog" for sure. Those "mostly" lines made me giggle.

  37. That's amazing!! I actually believed I was reading a dog's tale...hehe punny me!

  38. This made me smile and a little sad. I wonder how much of it goes through our poor dog's head.

    Yes, the follow thing can make me nuts. I really don't require an escort from one room to the next.

  40. @Nancy C
    Thanks, glad to cause giggling! And this mostly's? Usually have a sidelong glance to go with them.

  41. @Crystal
    Heehee, punny you! Thank you for stopping by. Which tail?

  42. @Mandyland
    Sometimes I feel like I'm neglecting him a little. I try hard to stay patient, but he just won't relax a minute.