Saturday, December 12, 2015

The New Best Friend

I chose the "nefarious playmate" from Master Class Monday over at Our Write Side.
This one is longer (much) than my norm. 

Barbie was sick of it. 

“Hey, Hot Pockets! Can I git another hot kiss here?” The guffaws from the rest of the old men at the table finally pushed her over the edge.

She pasted a simpering smile on her face, grabbed the coffee pot, and sashayed to the table. “Sure you can, Joe.” She whispered next to his ear as she poured the contents into his lap.

Joe’s screams and the hollering of his cronies summoned Harley, the manager, into the dining room at the same time Barbie slammed the pot on the table. As glass shards flew into the midst of the men she untied her apron. It dropped to the floor scattering quarters and dollar bills underfoot. Before Harley could open his mouth she shoved her fist into it.

She took time to smile at the group before saying, “I quit!” as she flipped the bird at the now speechless men; excluding Joe who was still bawling in pain. Then she calmly walked out the front door.

She walked the three blocks to her  walk-up apartment unlocking the door just as an ambulance sped back toward the diner. Her roommate, Christie was sprawled on the stained couch eating chips. Looking up as Barbie slammed the door  she quickly wiped the greasy salt on the arm and sat upright. 

“You're home early.”

Barbie checked the opposite end of the couch for crumbs and bugs before she threw herself down. “Yeah. I am.”

Christie settled back with another handful of chips, “Dirty old man disrespect you again?”


“Did you tell him to knock it off?”


“So, your grease ball of a boss fire you?” Christie asked.

Barbie snorted, “I quit.”

“You quit? How you gonna pay your share of the rent?” Christie sat up again spilling chips on the filthy rug.

“My share? How about you get off your lazy ass and pay the rent for a change.” Barbie cast a scathing look at Christie. “Seems I’ve been paying more than my share for quite a while.”

Christie frowned, “you know I been lookin’!”

Well I know where you can get a waitress job today.” Barbie jumped from the couch and headed to the kitchenette. As she expected the cupboards were empty. “Thought you were going to the store today,” she yelled into the other room.

“Yeah, I am, but I need more cash than the ten I got.” Christie poked her head cautiously through the doorway. “You make good tips today?”

“Don’t know, I left them behind.” She settled for a warm can of soda and returned to her corner of the couch. “If anybody knocks don’t answer the door.”

“What?” Christie looked at the door then back to her roomie. “Who are you expecting?”


“Aw, shit, girl, what did you do?” Christie crossed to the door and peeked out the front window. The street in front of the walk-up was empty, for the moment.

“I mighta poured coffee on ol’ Joe’s hardware.” She grinned humorlessly as Christie’s eyes widened.

“Oh, lord.” After another peek out the window, Christie turned back to Barbie. “He was a good tipper, you sure it was worth it?”

Barbie replayed the multitude of sexually inappropriate remarks Joe had spewed regarding her butt and boobs over the past four months. Each time he spoke his fan club of wannabe perverts laughed at her blushes and stammered appeals to him to please stop. Her eyes narrowed as she answered Christie, “It damn sure was.”

The young women stared at each other for several minutes before bursting in fits of giggles. 

Christie grabbed Barbie’s soda and took a long gulp before clapping her on the back, “I’ll bet he hollered, wish I’d been there to see it.”

“He didn’t just holler, he screamed like a, a girl!” Barbie swiped the laughter induced tears from her eyes and yanked the drink can back and drained it in one swallow. 

Catching their breath after the fit of glee was over, they sat silently. Barbie knew getting another job would be tough, it had taken forever to find the one she’d just left. She knew Christie really had been looking, but the Podunk town they lived in didn’t have much to offer. And after her own stunt, it was unlikely any of the locals would hire her.

Christie considered going to the diner next morning and filling out an application, but the minute she wrote her address down, she was sure it would end up round-filed. 

“Maybe we oughta just leave this shit hole behind and go somewhere new,” Christie suggested.

Barbie rolled her eyes, “Like where?”

As Christie shrugged a rap on the door made both girls jump. “Shh, don’t answer!” Barbie whispered frantically.

Christie nodded as she sidled to the window and carefully peeked out. “It’s that grill cook from the diner!” she told Barbie quietly.

Barbie’s face screwed into a snarl, “That loser? What does he want?”

Christie cracked the door open, “What d’ya want?”  she asked the lanky boy on the steps.

“To see if Barbie is alright.” He craned his neck to look past Christie and seeing Barbie he waved and said, “Nice work back there! They hauled that old fart out on stretcher, he was still holdin’ his balls and cryin’ like a baby.”

Barbie joined Christie at the doorway, “Yeah, I'm fine, they really  called an ambulance? Hey, you  didn’t bring the cops, did you?”

“No, just me.”

Christie opened the door wider and let him in, “Well get in here before they show up.”

“They ain’t goin' to. I told 'em Joe was playin' grab ass and the coffee got spilt accidental. And then Barbie ran off embarrassed.” He grinned and told Barbie, “Those two old ladies that you hate was in there, they backed me up.”

“Why’d  they do that?” Barbie figured the old hags disliked her as much as she did them. 

“'Cause they don’t like Joe more than they don’t like you I guess.”

“Huh. Well, hey, thanks.” 

The three stood awkwardly looking at each other. Finally the boy said, “I’m Luke by the way, don’t know if you knew my name or not. You gotta beer or pop?”

“Uh, yeah, I knew your name, and we don’t have anything to drink, we just finished the last soda.” 

“Oh. Then let’s go get some! My truck’s down there, we’ll get a six pack or two and go celebrate.” 

Barbie noticed when he grinned he was better looking than she remembered. While Christie tried to think of an excuse to refuse Barbie smile at Luke, “Okay, let’s go!”

Soon the three were driving around on gravel roads outside the small town. Halfway through the case of brew they had decided on Luke made a suggestion. “I got keys to the diner, we can go raid the cooler…and maybe the till.” 

Christie yanked her gaze away from the scenery outside the passenger window, “Oh that sounds like a very bad idea…”

“I think it sounds great!” Barbie slurred. “Serve that scuz Harley right! I tol’ him Joe was a pervert and he never did nothin' ‘ bout it.”

“Yeah I know, and you know what else? I know where Joe lives. An’ he’s got money at his place too. He owes you girl!”

Barbie leaned into Luke’s shoulder, “Yeah, he does. He owes me.” 

Christy looked at the pair, “You guys are wasted, and crazy! Barbie, you didn’t want cops and this sure sounds like a good way to attract them. Let’s just go back home and watch TV, OK?”

Luke shot Christie a curious glance, “you wanna go home, fine. We’ll drop you off.”

Christy nodded, maybe she could talk them into the apartment once they got there. 

She let herself in as the truck’s tires squealed off carrying Barbie and her new nefarious playmate into the night. She hadn’t been able to convince them to give up on Luke’s plan. Christy curled into the corner of couch and waited for Barbie to come back.

A shove on her shoulder prodded her from sleep. Still on the couch she looked up expecting her roommate to be frantic about breaking into the diner. Instead Barbie and Luke were grinning at her. In the dim light she could see Barbie swaying,, a beer clutched in her hand. As her sight focused she could see both were covered in spatters of red. 

Luke swung the hammer nonchalantly, “You shoulda come with us. It was awesome.”


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